The worst band website in the world gets a makeover

worst band website banner

The Lazer and the Beams website was a digital mess of scrolling text, clashing colors, animated gifs, mismatched fonts, and tiled photos. It’s even been referred to as the Worst Band Website in the World by a local Seattle news source.

“They’re not kidding either. It’s really bad,” admitted Lazer (AKA Sally Turner of Lazer and the Beams).

Lazer and the Beams have been rocking the Northwest for almost 10 years. Sadly, their website has been around even longer. Lazer claims her 15-year-old cousin built the site back in the “dial-up days” of the early 2000s. Then Lazer herself learned just enough HTML to keep it going.

“Over the years, the site has become more and more of a disaster,” said Lazer. “What can I say? I’m a good singer and a horrible web programmer. I wish I could record the looks on people’s faces when they first see it.”

In January of 2013, Lazer and the Beams started building a new website with HostBaby, but their old website is still available for those brave enough to click the link below.

Prepare yourself . . .

Click here to see it: The Worst Band Website in the World

“Originally, we were just happy to have a website,” said Lazer.

“It was kinda fun to have such a wild site, but when we started hearing about it from bookers and promoters—and not in a good way—we knew it was time for a change. ”

“We shopped around,” said Johnny Starbuck, bassist for the Beams. “But we couldn’t afford the $3-5,000 price tag that the local web design guys wanted. HostBaby was super easy and cheap, and it looks freaking fantastic. We can also finally manage our email list and send out decent newsletters. It’s perfect for us.”

“We love our new site,” said Lazer. “It’s so much easier to update, and add concert dates and videos. We’re really excited.”

The New Site

lazer and the beams new website

First impressions are made online

Lazer and the Beams learned the hard way that a professional web presence is vital to succeed in today’s music business. The first thing a booker, promoter, or label executive does when they hear about a new band is look it up online. An outdated site can hurt your prospects, and a social media profile alone is not going to impress anyone. That’s why HostBaby exists: To help artists like you take your career to the next level.

Join Lazer and the Beams today, and create a website that works for you—not against you.

It only takes a few minutes to choose a design and launch your new band website. Try it for yourself (cancel anytime).

Start your 30-Day free trial today!

(All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.)

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54 comments to The worst band website in the world gets a makeover

  • David Nunez

    I kinda like the old one better.

  • David Nunez

    (Obviously joking.)

  • It does have its charm :)

  • kidjedi

    Um… here’s the thing. The new site looks like EVERY other site out there (ultra generic and bland). While that’s fine for getting your information to the fan, the old site is WAY better as far as creating a lasting impression and getting people to visit your site! If I were the band, I would keep the old site, just tweak it to make the information more easily accessible.

  • BigBullyOrg

    I was also wondering why havnt they updated the old site since 2012 ???

  • kidjedi

    Um… here’s the thing. The new site looks like EVERY other site out there (ultra generic and bland). While that’s fine for getting your information to the fan, the old site is WAY better as far as creating a lasting impression and getting people to visit your site! If I were the band, I would keep the old site, just tweak it to make the information more easily accessible.

  • Jon Krop

    why are all the songs after the first one just the sound of a cat meowing?

  • Jon Krop

    why are all the songs after the first one just the sound of a cat meowing?

  • Alexander Frost

    This is a fake band.

  • Alexander Frost

    This is a fake band.

  • Yup. It says that in the blog post too.

  • Alexander Frost

    Looking back, it seems so obvious from the start. It still seems to me to be a strange way to advertise. But i get it, you’ve got to draw people in somehow. It does seem like you got a lot of click through from the email.

  • Trystan Matthews

    Yes, the new site is better. But the song links on the new website all play the same song.

  • Big Hoss

    This appears to be a BS campaign. The band doesn’t seem to exist anywhere but in this promo fluff piece. You’d think after having a site for sooo many years there would be a footprint eh? Their Facebook page was created 2 weeks ago. They just came out of nowhere…

    Kind of like all those “listeners” with their “radio Airplay” service. Wow what corrupt business practices they employ to get your cash eh?

  • shayneo

    The old website’s domain was registered 20 Jan 2014.

    I call shenanigans too.

  • It is mentioned in the blog post the the characters are fictitious. Laser and the Beams were just a fun way to show off the features of HostBaby.

  • Cesare

    It’s called marketing, people. It’s a great way to show how a web presence can be interpreted for the quality and look of a group. All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.”

  • Leilani

    GOOD marketing should not involve making up a human interest story about people like your clients/audience and trying to pass it off as real* to plug your services. I would never do that to my clients or to fans on my band mailing lists because it would be an abuse of their trust.

    *The “fiction” disclaimer doesn’t appear in the email CDBaby sent me about this article, and not until the end of this article and nowhere on the fictional websites. They definitely want us to buy it for at least a few minutes.

  • Ken Dirschl

    agreed. Well said.

  • Levon Jacobs

    It’s called false advertising. That is illegal.

  • Danny McKane

    Those generic run-of-the-mill wordpress websites are so boring…

  • DC fan

    I prefer the old one.

  • Ken Dirschl

    So, are there no real case studies of your product? Surely someone in the roster had a lousy site now made, um, presentable by Hostbaby? Faking it seems pretty lame to me.

  • Hi Ken, why don’t you sign up for our free trial and see for yourself. We have over 20 thousand artists hosting with us. These are the people we look to for suggestions, guidance, and inspiration.

  • Levon Jacobs

    So why don’t you use one of them instead of false advertising?

    And why are you all deleting comments proving this was false?

  • Because we didn’t want to target a real band for having the world’s worst website.

  • Robert Caleb Potter

    Yeah, glad you don’t pick on real sites for this illustration…lol…it would take months to get my rep back.

  • Elias Weber

    I disagree this is the best form of advertising. Back in the day when Black Sabbath made it big. It was because they were the most evil band, I shure as Hell would volenteer for this if posessed such a ugly site.

  • Your hot music

    It made you look didn’t it

  • Leilani

    Yes, and it made me decide to never use Hostbaby services because this stunt showed that selling is more important to them than connecting authentically to customers.

  • Dan Graham Popplewell

    You stole the idea from wired magazine this month, which had a great satirical old web page with awful gifs etc.

  • Haven’t seen that. Will check it out.

  • robmeurer

    A SITE THAT PLAYS MUSIC AUTOMATICALLY WILL NEVER BE VISITED BY ME AGAIN.

  • kikojones

    Advertising fail.
    Also, the HostBaby site is nice but generic.

  • jpmarin

    Looks generic now. Old site looks retro, *silly, 90s and fits their music.

  • Derek Grier

    LOL everyone here acting like they’ve uncovered some dark conspiracy a la Watergate or whatever,

    Its just a bit of advertising that was obviously not factual but BASED on real life DUH!…
    GET OVER IT

  • jamis72

    Is this like the onion? Do you have like worst fake porn site too? That would be cool. Or worst fake website building company website?

  • jamis72

    Hey after the free trial offer can I use a fake credit card for the rest?

  • Wow. That site is impressive. Ya know, If you pay the 199 price for the year. It’s 16.58 a month. Worth it for all the extra features and a site that works and you can update.

  • Stani Steinbock

    Haha! In fact I’ve seen an even worse one where moving the cursor caused cascades of stars exploding all over the place PLUS blue letters on black or something – I forget some details since it’s a long time ago. In fact I found the old Lazer site funny, especially with this cat listening to them in its headphones!

  • Nicole Chaplain-Pearman

    I realise I’m the minority opinion here, but to me the number one thing that draws me to a website is NAVIGABILTY. Esthetics are largely a matter of opinion and one could argue about that all day, but the one thing I want to do on a site is get information. I want menus that are intelligible and intuitive and I want to be able to click on something and access it right away. If I click on something and it doesn’t open, or I have no idea how to find what I want to know, or I have to shut down my computer in order to get out of the site I won’t be back. I also like a site that is usable with whatever browsers and audio visual playback software that are currently considered STANDARD. Please don’t be asking me to download some lesser known playback software onto my computer in order to be able to view or listen to something on the site. The harder I have to work to hear or see stuff on your site the less interested I am – I’ve got better things to do with my time. A website that’s easy to navigate covers a multitude of sins.

  • THX1136

    Well said!

  • tsjay310

    The only REAL problem I have with the old site, is that the music starts IMMEDIATELY upon opening, I’ve always hated that ! Let me decide when I want to start listening ! LOL ! But yeah, CD baby is a GREAT company, with great services, so I am not surprised that host baby is an awesome service as well.

  • Boe

    Hilarious. I vote that they keep the old site!

  • Hotpoint Automatic

    I have absolutely no interest in your services after seeing this. You should know musicians are pretty smart people and don’t like being fooled around with. I feel like this campaign is making bands out to be gullible idiots that will believe anything. I’m cancelling my membership right away.

    Just terrible.

  • Hi Hotpoint, we do state in the article that it is fictional. We just thought this campaign was a fun way to start a conversation about web design. No offense meant.

  • 20K artists, no wonder there’s so much crap music !

  • Joe Santa Maria

    Retro 1995 era information superhighway look!

  • Keith Korsgaard

    I thought CD Baby had a little more integrity than falling into the same embellishing of a sales pitch like everyone else out there. Fake site, and complete with fake responses from a fake band. 3000 to 5000 dollars for a website? Maybe in the old days. My thinking of CD Baby as legit just disappeared, what a shame. Seems like another company taking advantage of artists that have very limited resources.

  • We thought it was kind of an original idea. Sorry it rubbed you the wrong way. 3-5k is actually quite cheap for a professionally designed and coded website in our neck of the woods. (We work with a lot of designers and developers.)

  • Toronto musician

    One thing to learn…..

    Never let the music auto-play or allow pop-ups to show up…The X-close button is the only way out! Lol

  • TravisBowlin

    So now they are getting all this coverage for having the worst site .. Meanwhile other musicians/artist who have their crap together can’t get an email read.. Dang…

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